Archive for the ‘J.O.K.E.s’ Category

oh lelaki…

Posted: February 27, 2009 in J.O.K.E.s

Kalau lelaki handsome pendiam
Perempuan akan cakap:: woow, cool giler…
kalau lelaki tak handsome pendiam
Perempuan akan cakap: eh perasan bagus…

kalau lelaki handsome berbuat jahat
Perempuan akan kata: nobody’s perfect
kalau lelaki tak handsome berbuat jahat
perempuan akan cakap: memang…. muka pun macam
pecah rumah!

kalau lelaki handsome menolong perempuan yg
diganggu
perempuan akan cakap: wah.. machonya.. macam hero
filem!
kalau lelaki tak handsome menolong perempuan yang
diganggu
Perempuan akan kata: entah2 kawan dia…

kalau lelaki handsome dapat perempuan cantik
perempuan akan kata: sepadan sangat…
kalau lelaki tak handsome dapat perempuan cantik
perempuan akan kata: mesti kena bomoh perempuan
tuh!

kalau lelaki handsome ditinggal kekasih
perempuan akan kata: jangan sedih, kan saya ada..
kalau lelaki tak handsome ditinggal kekasih
perempuan akan kata:…(terdiam, tapi telunjuknya
meliuk-liuk dari atas ke bawah, patutlah, tengok
saja luarannya)…

kalau lelaki handsome penyayang binatang
perempuan akan cakap: perasaannya halus… penuh
kasih sayang
kalau lelaki tak handsome penyayang binatang
perempuan akan cakap: sesama keluarga memang harus
menyayangi…

kalau lelaki handsome bawa BMW
perempuan akan cakap: matching… hebat luar dalam
kalau lelaki tak handsome bawa BMW
perempuan akan cakap: bang, bosnya mana?…

kalau lelaki handsome tak mau bergambar
perempuan akan cakap: pasti takut kalau2 gambarnya
tersebar
kalau lelaki tak handsome tak mau bergambar
perempuan akan kata: tak sanggup melihat hasilnya
ya?…

kalau lelaki handsome menuang air ke gelas
perempuan
perempuan akan cakap: ini barulah lelaki gentlemen
kalau lelaki tak handsome menuang air ke gelas
perempuan
perempuan akan cakap: naluri pembantu, memang
begitu….

kalau lelaki handsome bersedih hati
perempuan akan cakap: let me be your shoulder to
cry on
kalau lelaki tak handsome bersedih hati
perempuan akan kata: kuat nangis!! lelaki ke bukan
ni?

p/s : Life is not fair – Dr Sures . hahahahaha

– Don’t judge the book by its cover.

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upgrade from boyfriend to husband…

Posted: February 25, 2009 in J.O.K.E.s

UPGRADE FROM BOYFRIEND TO HUSBAND

Dear IT Support,

Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a slow

down in the overall performance, particularly in the flower, gifts and

jewellery applications that had operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0.

In addition, Husband 1.0 un-installed many other valuable programs, such

as Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5, but installed undesirable

programs such as Formula One 5.0, NBA 3.0 and World Cup 2.0.

And now Conversation 8.0 no longer runs and House Cleaning 2.6 simply

crashes the system. I’ve tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems,

but to no avail.

What can I do?

Signed,

Desperate Housewife

Reply:

Dear Desperate Housewife,

First keep in mind:

Boyfriend 5.0 is an entertainment package, while Husband 1.0 is an

operating system.

Try entering the command C:\ I THOUGHT YOU LOVED ME and download

Tears 6.2 to install Guilt 3.0.

If all works as designed, Husband 1.0 should then automatically run the

applications Jewellery 2.0 and Flowers 3.5.

But remember, overuse can cause Husband 1.0 to default to Grumpy Silence

2.5, Happy Hour 7.0 or Late Night Teh Tarik 6.1.

Late Night 6.1 is a very bad program that will create SnoringLoudly.wav

files.

Whatever you do, DO NOT install Mother-in-Law 1.0 or reinstall another

Boyfriend program. These are not supported applications and will crash

Husband 1.0.

In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have a limited

memory and cannot learn new applications quickly.

You might consider additional software to improve memory and performance.

I personally recommend Hot Tasty Food 3.0 and Tongkat Ali 6.9.

Good Luck,

IT Support

muahahhahaha….

I Love you more than my CPU…

Posted: February 25, 2009 in J.O.K.E.s

You installed the best in me.

Your picture is always in my background.

You clicked my heart gently.

Your love reset my life and deleted all the sadness in me.

You restored my kindness after I thought it was corrupted.

I’m always connected to you with more than 56 heart beat persecond.

You hacked my brain and registered your name in it.

You are the only one that could navigate my feelings and explore my emotions at the same time.

You are the only one that can log into my heart and never logout.

You don’t have to search for me, cause we are always linked to each others.

I see your name everywhere, my FrontPage, my homepage and all my software.

I scanned my life and found that I’m only infected by you.

You are the virus I’d never remove, and why should I do?.

You formatted my life and added happiness to view.

Believe me it is true… … … .I love you more than my CPU .

Just for laughs …